![]() "I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS TRIAL TO BECOME A CIRCUS!!!" The trial is overseen by an incredibly sassy judge who is always insisting that "I will not allow this trial to become a circus!," but it always does anyway. If that's the case, you probably shouldn't watch TOTAL RECALL right afterward.Īnyway, I forgot to mention that all of this accompanies a legal thriller. I think BODY OF EVIDENCE was hoping to instill a Pavlovian reaction within the viewer where broken glass = arousal. ![]() Madonna prepares to smash a light bulb and then have sex on top of it. ![]() Wait one minute! Whose manly hand is whose? Sometimes a mere picture is worth one thousand words. It depicts scenes involving HANDCUFFS, CLOTHES-RIPPING, and other such HANKY-PANKERIES! How long can we watch Madonna alternatingly pour hot wax and champagne on Dafoe's nipples as stock, steamy Spanish guitar plays? Well, watch the movie and find out.ĭAMN this movie is so KINKY and FORBIDDEN. And why is a heavenly choir playing? Well, in my opinion, that unanswered question finds resolution nearly 20 years later with 'ANTICHRIST.'Īnd the forced sexiness is utterly macabre. Here, she's talking a LOT, and she's trying real hard to be ‘sexy.’ Madonna is not a 'great actor.' She's probably at her best in DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN, where the role cleverly called for her to only ‘look cool’ and keep the talking to a minimum. There are a lot of great actors here who were happy to collect a paycheck and then head for the fuckin' hills. "How did you get those candle wax burns? TELLL ME!!!" Willem Dafoe declaring the self-evident truth, "It's not a crime to be a great lay." Julianne Moore doing that whole 'anguished wife' routine. Mantegna closes his eyes and pretends it's a Mamet picture. Frank Langella somberly elucidating how Madonna fingering herself drove him wild. That's not to say that there's no gold here. And it's the sort of bad movie that I don't realllly ever need to see again, not ever. Tag-line: "An act of love, or an act of murder?"īest one-liner: "It's not a crime to be a beautiful woman." ALSO: "It's not a crime to be a great lay!"Īs promised, BODY OF EVIDENCE is amazingly bad. Music by Graeme Revell (SIN CITY, CHILD'S PLAY 2). Written by Brad Mirman (HIGHLANDER III, THE GOOD SHEPHERD). Notable Cast or Crew: Willem Dafoe, Madonna (DICK TRACY), Joe Mantegna (HOUSE OF GAMES, HOMICIDE), Frank Langella (MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE, FROST/NIXON), Julianne Moore (SAFE, TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE), Anne Archer (FATAL ATTRACTION, SHORT CUTS), Jürgen Prochnow (TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME, DAS BOOT), Charles Hallahan (THE THING, VISION QUEST).
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